this place i call calm.

the beach is where i feel alive.
inside the rocks, deep inside.
down in the ocean, way deep down.
i wanna feel it all,
i wanna be it all.
somedays i wanna be the ocean waves,
raising my highest in achievments.
than crashing down into the ocean's sand,
soft landing knowing i can get that high.
But,
somedays i want to be the ocean's sand,
suffocating from the ocean's waves crashing down on me.
Washing away into nothing.
Decaying into the rocks and sand,
Hiding from everything, and everyone.

I hate this part right here...

can you keep a secret?

i'm lost.

can you keep a secret?

i'm afraid.

can you keep a secret?

i need you.

can you keep a secret?

i miss you.

can you keep a secret?

i'm afraid of losing you.

can you keep a secret?

that's my biggest fear.

can you keep a secret?

i already did.

can you keep a secret?

it was the biggest mistake of my life.

can you keep a secret?

i want you back.

NotGoodEnough.

Ever felt not good enough?

Ever felt like you try so hard and nothing comes out of it?

Ever felt like you've been "trying" to please everyone but you don't succeed?

Ever felt like your parents are expecting the very best out of you and all you can give them is what you've got and what you've got isn't good enough or what they want?

Ever felt like you are giving them your best but to them its nothing?

Ever felt like you will never be the daughter that they've always wanted?

Ever felt like your parents deserve much better than yourself?

Ever felt like you will never be what they want you to be?

Ever felt like just giving up?

I have..and I guess all i can say is..Just Be Who YOU Want To Be And What YOU Want To Be. Don't let anyone control you. You are your own person.

So Be Free!

Future.

Have you ever thought about your future? Like what's going to happen. What if you planned it way ahead of time and when it's about to come you realize that it's not going to happen. Don't waste your breath on planning your future just let it come to you. Because if you do plan it you'll get crushed by the result. So make it worth it. I know I sure won't.

Time is going by really fast. I don't like it. I don't want to be separated from something i've been building all my life. My friends are like my life right now (<-- stupid i know) but to me it's not. Sure everyone on graduation day all say "OMG we have to keep in touch no matter what!" but does it happen? no! Everyone goes there separate ways.

I guess...right now...

I'm afraid...

to lose...

My Best Friend.

I'm trying..my awfulness.

I'm trying my best to be happy.

every time i am

it goes away just as fast as it comes.

its pointless.

why even try if you can't succeed.

the only thing I'm good for these days is..

FUCK! i don't even think I'm good for anything.

the only thing I'm good at is. nothing. Ok.

maybe something

which is sleep.

ha-ha

the only thing i look forward to.

besides one other thing.

Dork is me

NOT YOU!

(if you catch my drift)

saying something can be easy

only if you know its safe to say it

ughh

LIFE IS FULL OF CRAP!!!

i don't want to be here anymore

and thats the truth

everyone is full of it!

full of themselves!

its pathetic!

i just hate hate hate me!

i'm not good enough.

everyone deserves better than me

no one tells me other words.

they agree.

i know that as a fact.

i'm sounding selfish

maybe i am

i could care less right now.

unexpected.

:S

Every time we get into fights

you say things that aren't right

so do i

the only thing i say is sorry

but you say other things

things that i truly don't want to happen

things i think at times

i'm tired of thinking like that

i want to stop

but for some reason it's hard for me.